So I went to auditions for AIDA at the Hale last night. I will be unable to play the title role of Aida because apparently being black on the inside doesn't count. Additionally the only white-girl part is for a rock-belter which is not my strongest suite. HA! Strongest suite! Get it Aida fans?
However, they did call me back for dancer/chorus. Now in some shows chorus sucks. Man of La Moncha comes to mind; but Aida would be way fun because there's lots of dancing for the womens, and fun costumes, etc. whether you're an Egyptian, or a Caucasian Nubian that looks ethnic since there's a shortage on real ethnic in the Valley.
But here's where the terror comes in...the dancing. Don't get me wrong, I love to dance, but the thing is I've had mono, gone on a mission and had chronic fatigue for so long that I haven't been able to really dance (except with Dana in a few Divine Comedy skits) in about 5 years. 5 YEARS! People have plural childs in that amount of time!
So my fear comes from not only these scary children watching what I type, but that I used to be really good-well, not like I could audition for SYTYCD, but I worked a ton to be at least competent in an audition. Going to this audition and seeing how much I've lost is what really terrifies me. To think I worked for nothing. I almost never turn away from a challenge (even if just to say that I didn't), but I really don't know if I can handle this one.
Basically, I love performing, but having my inability to do so reaffirmed in front of others might be more that I can handle because I love it so much. Right now, writing this is the only thing between me and a flood of saltwatery emotion. I hate to say it, but I might give up on this one and not go because I know if my fears are confirmed, which is 99% likely since I won't just re-gain my skills in like 20 minutes, I might lose it then and there without a blog to hide behind. But wait! Of course!! I can go and just bring my laptop along!!! That's not weird at all!!!!
Well, obviously problem solved. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some mascara to run.
Basically, I love performing, but having my inability to do so reaffirmed in front of others might be more that I can handle because I love it so much. Right now, writing this is the only thing between me and a flood of saltwatery emotion. I hate to say it, but I might give up on this one and not go because I know if my fears are confirmed, which is 99% likely since I won't just re-gain my skills in like 20 minutes, I might lose it then and there without a blog to hide behind. But wait! Of course!! I can go and just bring my laptop along!!! That's not weird at all!!!!
Well, obviously problem solved. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some mascara to run.
4 comments:
I actually saw Aida in New York, and I enjoyed it. Who doesn't love Elton John?
And if Angelina can play a black woman, a la Marianne Pearl, I don't see why you can't. I'm sure you totally have the same clout.
And the oranges comment on my blog made me laugh out loud for at least 102 seconds.
And the word verification word I have is completely ridiculous.
I don't know, my friend. I've seen you do a mean rendition of a goat to "Paint With All The Colors Of The Wind". So... you can't tell me your skills have deminished.
And those multiple childs are creeeepy with several extra 'e's.
And yes, I'm awake at near 3 AM here in the midwest. Some things after college don't seem to change.
Did I start three paragraphs in a row with the word "and?"
Don't you DARE give it up! I will haunt you till the end of eternity if you do. Of course you should worry about your health, but don't give up on something you really love doing (and are very good at) because you're scared. Being scared is totally normal; you're going to be fantastic!
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