Update on Life

Well....

So......

Like.....

Yah.....

I'm glad we got that out of the way. Now onto updates.

I am off the Street and currently back in Minneapolis with el hubbo. Both of us are in the developmental stages of our respective careers. The stage where people keep asking "And...you are.....?" when you know exactly who they are because you've seen/auditioned for/talked/worked with them several times already. My current career goal is to not have this happen more than once a month. It's a good step.

My most recent and interesting job is probably working for the Barbara Schneider Foundation. I'm hired as an actor to act (woah!) in scenarios that help train employees who work with the mentally ill. This means nurses, security guards, prison guards, and even administrators who might come into contact with volatile individuals are trained in how to deescalate people without having to use force or restraints, but instead use empathy and listening. I get to be the person they're deescalating (along with several other actors who are in different rooms. Each of us have a different story/scenario.) We do these enactments about 10 times so everyone gets a chance to see or do each one. It is not easy. I have to jump from a depressed cutter to a violent, angry, suicidal/homicidal to a bi-polar teen with delusions. I enjoy the work, and I've learned a ton, but at the end of my first day I was exhausted.

It's not like a play where you have a gradual build in the tension before it finally explodes. You basically start at 100% intensity and go to 150%, and do it for four hours. And you have to be really mean to nice people who are scared of you. And while I love being able to do something so far from myself, I'm not strictly performing-I'm interacting, and there's a part of me that feels so sorry for some of these sweet, shy people I'm freaking out. The other thing that's hard is actually being told to do things you're not "supposed" to do. Like swear, kick things, scream, and mock peoples' race/weight/religion/age/sex, etc. But people with mental health problems or personality disorders either don't know or don't care about a lot of that, so part of this is to train people to deal with the shock that comes with someone throwing all kinds of profanities and insults at you without getting angry yourself.

Now I was about to write "my job is sometimes to be horrible to people," but it's not. I think it's much more than that. My job is to teach people how to develop empathy with those who are not easy to communicate with or be around. And if they do show me that they care, part of my job is to "reward" them by calming down, or opening up a little, or letting them come a little closer physically or actually listening to something they say. It's not easy-especially the mean and vulgar part of it-but I think it's worth it if I can help people learn important skills and principals for when they deal with actual, real people like the ones I'm portraying.

On a lighter note, le hubie et moi will get to work on the same film next week. It's a low-budget feature being shot in MN called "Statue of David." I have 3 lines! YEAH! I'm playing a trophy-wife! YEA-WHA? Yah, I was pretty surprised that they'd have me, a quirky best-friend type, in that role, but I'm not complaining. I guess having boobs is finally useful after all. I didn't just write that.

Well....I'm tired of writing now, so this post is done.

Christmas Time!

Well, I am off the Street now, but I don't have time to write about it at the moment because it's the most busiest time of the year. That is incorrectly grammered so it will fit the song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." It's called a parody, though it's usually not funny if you have to explain it. Moving on...

Right now I'm finishing up our first Christmas letter as a couple, so if you want one, send me your address via Email, Facebook, or text. But if you text me, make sure you put your name in there because I lost my phone in August with all my numbers and I might address your letter as

801-473-5695
4567 Terrian Rd.
Harborville, SO 46654

And seriously, who lives in Harborville, SO anymore?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Life on the Street

So maybe I should write something on here. I don't think I have any readers anymore for the silly reason of not writing!! Well that's gonna change! At least for tonight.

Well...I am currently in Dayton, OH and we leave in a few days for Salisbury, Maryland. We're never in one place for more than a week and this week and the next we're in two cities. It can get tiring riding the bus for eight hours, packing and unpacking every few days, and not being able to see and enjoy my husband, but when we actually do the shows, I have to admit, I have the coolest job ever. I'm dancing and singing with Muppets! Hundreds of children 5 and under all want to be me for an hour and a half! I may never earn the envy of my peers , but damn it, if you're a kid, you'd want my job. I made a swear.

So here's some basic facts about my job:

1. The entire show (except for my part) is tracked, meaning it's all pre-recorded, so if I take too long saying a line, the show goes on anyway so timing is everything.

2. I am double-cast, so some shows I'm the live human character, and some shows I get to be Oscar and a black-light butterfly. Oscar's head is heavy, but it's fun to be the only mean Muppet.

3. The dancers who play the Muppets are real people, but they don't have any mics since their voices are recorded by the actual Sesame Street characters from the show, and I've heard more dirty jokes from Big Bird than any live human.

4. The show is basically a rock concert for kids. They come dressed like the stars (Mupperts), sing along to really loud music and flashing lights, and they get out of their seats to dance and mosh until one of them passes out. That last part only happened in my mind.

So there's my life for another month, and then it's time to head home. So, if you've got any questions about life on the Street, go ahead and ask so that it will make me post again. Or you don't have to and can send me a passive-aggressive message that I just shouldn't post.

And now for something totally unrelated and totally brilliant:

Today I Did Not....

So inspired by several of my friend Lindsi's posts, I will make a list of things I absolutely, totally DID NOT do today:

1. I did not stay on the verge of tears while trying to learn one 16-count section of dance for almost an hour.

2. I did not eat a huge Angus burger that my stomach would still be trying to digest.

3. I did not comb my hair and inwardly gasp at the amount of dan-err, dead skin on my scalp.

4. I did not lose my black sports bra.

5. I did not get lost three times going back and forth from the co-op that is 5 blocks from our hotel.

6. I did not complain about 50 times to whoever would listen about how stressed I am having to memorize an entire 90-minute track with choreography.

So wow, look at all the things I totally did NOT do! Aren't I a perfect example of self-restraint?

Sesame Street, Here I Come!

So I should be packing, but I decided to bring my blog back from the dead (it was a little too late for mouth-to-mouth to simply revive it, so I went with necromancy to fully bring it back) to announce that.....

I will be on tour for 2-4 months!!

I'll give the details later...maybe...since I need to pack and it was sudden, but I'll be singing and dancing as Sam the mail-carrier, or (I have two roles I switch off) as Oscar the Grouch and I also do some cool black-light dances as a fish and a butterly. I leave...tomorrow. I found out...today. Someone else got injured which is sad, but I get a job, which is happy and she gets to come back when she's un-injured which is also happy because Nathan and I have a 3-month rule about being apart if we get gigs. I'll be in the Midwest and on the East coast mostly, but you can check out the show schedule http://sesamestreetlive.com/tickets-0?tid[]=55
I'll be in the show until at least early November. WEEEEE!
OK, seriously time to pack.

How to curb the appetite

Are you ever tempted by food you know you shouldn't eat? Do you crave deep-fried deliciousness, have fast-food fantasies, are tortured by take-out? I have something that will cure you.......

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

....or make it worse, either way, it's pretty entertaining.
(Thanks to Joel for recommending the site)

Oh, and we're moving to Minnesota in less than 3 weeks. I think I'll start blogging again when I get there....

The Gender of my Cutlery

OK so I haven't posted in forever and the reason why is....ummm....well....I just didn't feel like it.....I have no other excuse. Not that I need one since my blog readership is mostly people I Facebook with on a weekly basis anyway, but...umm...Hey look! A post!:

OK so there are certain things that are male and female. I am female. My husband is male. We know this because I am reminded of my gender every month while my husband has no such reminders-therefore he is male. Moving on to a little more advanced analysis-my family's dog is female. We know this because she never humps anyone's leg, therefore she is NOT male, and is, by process of elimination-female. I have yet to find a neuter dog-maybe in Germany.

Now we move into the abstract. Even numbers are female and odd numbers are male. This isn't a recent analysis. I've always know this since I was a child. Perhaps it was some subtle comment in my mind on male and female anatomy, but I've always known that evens are girls. OK, 7 is slightly effeminate, I'll give you that, and 77 might be female. Maybe had a gender change, I don't know, but 777 is definitely male and a masochist because he's overcompensating for 77's lack of excessive masculinity. That's just the way it is.

Now onto the non-living physical realm-my cutlery. I am torn. Spoons are definitely female and knives are definitely male, but forks? I can't make up my mind. Sometimes I think they're a spunky punk-@$$ male, but other times I think they're a sophisticated, sleek female that could run Wall-Street. And as far as sporks... they're just confused.